I looked at my own cervix.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize