Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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