well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I want a musical about memes.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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