remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
