I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
