I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
True strength comes from lack of pants
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
