Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
