She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
