During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
