Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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