Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
