That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
