yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
