shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
