Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize