Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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