Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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