It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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