In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
