addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize