What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
