Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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