I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Text me some of your sweat
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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