I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
