Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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