I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize