who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
