You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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