once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
