I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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