I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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