they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
