You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
