Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
