We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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