U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
