do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
