CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
