Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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