what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
