I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
