nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize