I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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