He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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