Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
