I cannot find my penis.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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