yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
