loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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