at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
