Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
