It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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