New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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