Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
