fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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