When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
