sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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