My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we're so committed to being not committed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
