Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
