Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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