I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Mom said you looked used
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
