It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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